In Spring 2012 I bought two books by brothers about their famous siblings. One is “My Brother, the Pope,” by Fr. Georg Ratzinger. The second, which I read first, is the rather bulky title: “Life Lessons from my Life with my Brother, Timothy Cardinal Dolan,” by Bob Dolan. By way of disclaimer, I should say that I haven’t read the Ratzinger book yet, so what I will say about the Dolan book is NOT by way of comparison.
I had read about two-thirds of the Dolan book early in the summer, before I became totally disgusted with it, and put it aside. Then the concerns broke about Cardinal Dolan’s invitation to Pres. Obama to take the podium at the Al Smith Dinner, and yet a new light was cast on the Dolan book. I finished the book and still paused about whether or not to say anything, whether or not to document my disappointment and open the subject for discussion. I know I’m not alone, although clearly in the minority. On Amazon 12 of the 14 reviewers give the Dolan book “5 stars.” I found that out after I’d read it. But 1 reviewer gave it a “one star” and one gave it a “two star.” At this writing there are no three or four star ratings. I will excerpt from those two writers what exactly reflects my own conclusions, as sometimes it is easier to use the words of others.
The “two-star” reviewer wrote: “…By the second chapter, I was already terribly disappointed. At first I thought Bob was just a very inexperienced writer… Bob sounded both petty and insecure as he emphasized, in almost every situation, his brothers love of alcohol and/or a good cigar. He often times made it more of the focus than whatever the topic of that particular chapter was. … he spent a considerable amount of time promoting himself … a shameless attempt at self promotion. Bob comes across as insincere and appears to be trapped in a love/hate type of regard for his brother’s success. From my perspective, Bob fell short in sharing any meaningful “Life Lessons” …. I finished the book but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.”
The “one-star” reviewer wrote: “I’m so sorry. I really wanted to like this book. But I’m afraid Bob Dolan didn’t do his brother any favors by writing it. Cardinal Dolan comes across as a really likable guy to spend a Saturday afternoon with, but not someone who is capable of leading the Church in a wider field than New York. I hope he isn’t really the way his brother portrayed him. … we need something more than a guy who likes his whiskey and a good laugh. And I have to say, the conversations Bob Dolan says he has with his brother about the faith are stilted and fake sounding. … Bob, please tell me that you made most of this up. In any case, your brother deserved better, or better yet, nothing at all.”
I agree with both these reviewers, and one can read the rest of their posts on the Amazon website (PS here — I’m trying to transition away from Amazon due to their founder/President giving $2.5 million to support so-called “gay marriage” on the Washington state ballot.)
But there is more both reviewers left unsaid, or to be re-said. I was very put off by the alcohol preoccupation. If I could stomach re-reading I would have to count up the numerous references to alcohol, and the prominence in many of the pictures of drinks — whether it is Cardinal Dolan sitting with his mother with a dozen glasses in front of them, or Cardinal Dolan praying with a drink obviously on the table right beside him (and two strategic buttons unbuttoned, see picture below). I was struck by how easily the pictures could have been cropped, unless that was part of the purpose — is it supposed to imply an alcohol problem? (Don’t judge too quickly until you’ve read the book.)
Bob Dolan makes two prominent cases of his being bullied at the young Tim Dolan’s hands, one over a frightening ‘in the dark’ intrusion and one over wilting sarcasm as the younger Bob loses his childhood savings in a poker game. Why even tell these tales unless there is some other agenda?
The cover picture on the book evokes a “Tim laughing at Bob” discomfort as well. It is a disturbing picture, to me, especially having read the book. And what is the unshaven implication of disrespect in the pictures of Bob Dolan at the celebration after the ceremony elevating Abp. Dolan to Cardinal? By the end of the book, I found myself simply asking “WHY?” Why did brother Bob write this at all, and the “love/hate” of one reviewer seemed too credible.
But I think the worst damage Bob Dolan did was not so much in dwelling on irrelevant past episodes, or even stilted, pompous and unlikely dialogue of the present, but rather in entertaining and speculating on the likelihood of Cardinal Dolan’s becoming Pope. Even the most rudimentary understanding of how things work in Rome would imply that the very speculation can well keep something from happening, and that becomes a real consideration. Brother Bob knows full well he should not be speculating on such possibilities. He also has a knack for alienating his brother’s peers. Imagine! He called the Consistory which elevated 22 men to Cardinals ”Tim’s consistory” and wrote: “We apparently believed the other 21 men who would also receive the biretta were merely Tim’s opening act.” Brother Bob also quotes other churchmen as lavishing extreme praise on Cardinal Dolan, but it is strange how none of those sources have names. Are they real or are they and their quotes made up? Yet, brother Bob is supposedly a news reporter, a “media professional” and he doesn’t quote sources? Why not? He cites “a visiting bishop” as saying “I think [the Pope] is gently dropping a hint that, at least in his opinion, this man [Cardinal Dolan] is worth considering as his successor.” This is not only highly inappropriate as “Vatican behavior” but it raises implications of Pope Benedict’s death, highly disrespectful. Might it not be possible – if he really was given so many accolades of his brother with papal speculation — that it was Cardinal Dolan’s family that was under inspection and, if Bob Dolan’s writing is the result, the family likely failed the test. What test? Of loyalty, of humility, of circumspection, of deportment, of judgment, of trust. Thanks, Bob.
The author goes on to speculate that much as they’d hate to see less of the Cardinal, “if we considered what may be best for the worldwide Church, …he’d be an excellent choice.” Now, can we believe any well-adjusted, politically sensitive sibling would write that, and the following regarding the consideration of Cardinal Dolan for Pope: “I still believe the odds are against it but I’ve been persuaded to believe he will be considered and will probably receive a good number of votes from his brother cardinals. Which brings me to the next conclave, whenever it is. I’m on record that my wife and I will be in Rome watching for the white smoke….if my brother walked out on that balcony… I will still fall to the ground; but …not out of shock but because of joy and gratitude.” 
When the news broke about what many Catholics see as poor judgment on the part of Cardinal Dolan in inviting Pres. Obama to the podium of the Al Smith dinner, I began a post that I never completed, called “Has the red hat gone to his head?” Now, perhaps, it would be fairer to say “Has the red hat gone to his brother’s head?” Nevertheless, the threads laid out by brother Bob – bullying, alcohol, flippancy, arrogance, open all kinds of questions about seeking status, influence and political clout. Cardinal Dolan ignored the urging of so many of his flock not to do what he did, that it is now fair to ask how many of the Catholic votes that went for Obama weighed as part of their decision making the photo ops and Catholic stage which Cardinal Dolan provided? And, when Cardinal Dolan witnessed the liturgical prancing of half-dressed babes in the DoR Cathedral, as he did, or spoke from the pulpit during Mass ranking Bishop Clark behind a “garbage plate” as his idea of a joke, will he have the stomach or the clout or sensitivity to do what is needed in the Church today, let alone to see through the battle now engaged by the USCCB under his leadership? I certainly hope so, but Brother Bob’s book has introduced an element of skepticism and deep concern.
March 12, 2013: Update from the Conclave with the Dolan Brothers:
